Saturday, 18 October 2014

The U word

I firmly believe that there's no such thing as ugly. Although as a spotty youth I would never have agreed with that statement. At the time I firmly believed that I was the ugliest soul in Christendom; in fact I was convinced of it. After all it was why girls never fancied me. It didn't seem to occur to me that the real reason was because I was a shy, charmless nurk.

Ugly is a state of mind, an unnecessary state of mind. No one is ugly, there is beauty in everyone. The secret is to liberate that inner beauty and learn to love yourself. There are no benchmarks for beauty. Beauty cannot be dictated by the media. Beauty, like art, is in the eye of the beholder. If you look in the mirror and see yourself as ugly then you are not looking the right way. Instead imagine you are someone else looking over your shoulder. See yourself in a new light. As others see you. There will always be many who see you as beautiful. Trust that majority and not you the minority.


Saturday, 11 October 2014

Abrogation

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever."*
George Orwell

It's almost a year since I was told that the site I worked at was closing and I was being made redundant. When I first heard the news, which came as very little surprise, I felt a sense of relief. But as the saying goes 'be careful what you wish for'. As the days and weeks passed my future seemed very uncertain. I had everything planned and the rug was pulled from beneath me, or that's how it felt.

Rejection is a terrible thing. It's something that I've feared and had to deal with the fear all my life. Over the last year rejection seems to have been with me most of the time. There are little rays of hope then the way forward is covered up and all goes dark again; the pain in the black moments is unbearable. The constant question rings out 'what have I done to deserve this?'

Rejection wears you down. It saps your strength and will to carry on. I try never to judge, and equally I don't care for being judged by others. You never get over rejection but to survive you have to learn to put it behind you and get on with life. I bear no malice to those that have rejected me.

Thankfully I now have a job, which affords me some stability. It is a job I enjoy. It's been a very long time since I've had a job I enjoyed. I count my blessings. Sometimes we need to do that. It helps to soothe the scars and the residual pain. Forward, there is only forward.

*It's a nightmare, fear on a loop. A bad dream that you never wake up from. A door slamming in your face over and over again. That's rejection.
Me

Thursday, 2 October 2014

Quote unquote

"Written in pain, written in awe
By a puzzled man who questioned
What we were here for"
David Bowie (Oh You Pretty Things)


"There Are None So Blind As Those Who Will Not See":
• According to the ‘Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings’ this proverb has been traced back to 1546 (John Heywood),


jealousy is the mother of invention


"We do not own the world, and its riches are not ours to dispose of at will. Show a loving consideration for all creatures, and seek to maintain the beauty and variety of the world. Work to ensure that our increasing power over nature is used responsibly, with reverence for life. Rejoice in the splendour of God's continuing creation." Advices and Queries - 42 (Quakers in Britain)