Compass point musings

Where the hell are we?

I didn't do geography at school. I couldn't find the classroom!

Boom, boom!

I'm not even going to pretend to try and define where the border between north and south is. It's far too controversial. Anyway I'm not really a greater one for borders; fortress mentality is for knobheads quite frankly. But it's useful to know where you are and it's useful to know where other places are in case you need to visit them. It's also useful to know a bit of geography when listening to the weather forecast.

I shout at weather forecasts; mostly because of the geography. Although I also shout when Aberdeen is going to be warmer than Norwich, which are more days than you would imagine. I know the meteorologists can't help that but it makes me feel better to vent my anger that way. I live in East Anglia. East Anglia is most definitely not the south. It's east. We have the most easterly point on the British mainland. There's a clue in the title of East Anglia. Nowhere does it say south on the label. I sympathise with those that think of themselves as northerners* when the weather forecasters (and media in general) approach everything in such a London centric/southern sort of way. There are more parts to the country than the south**. I also get angry when they refer to 'West Wales' when what they really mean is 'The West of Wales'. West Wales is now called Cornwall. It is not what we now know as Wales. The border varied but it was known as West Wales from around the 5th to 9th centuries and possibly before that. Sloppiness on the part of media types prevails.

*Special note to those that call themselves Northerners. As a Scots person said to me once, "you English are all Southerners!".

**We have such economic regional divides in this country because of government policy. We have a London centric economy and media because government sits in Westminster. It would be far better to permanently move parliament to a more economically deprived centre and spread government departments around the country. If the centre of power was moved the money would start to follow. Housing might become more affordable in London, job would be created in places that have suffered from unemployment and infrastructure investment would shift to more places that needed it. There would be so many benefits. It would also alleviate the need to build extra runways at either Heathrow or Gatwick. Just think how that would boost the overall economy.

But, we continue to live in blinkered Britain.

So you think you are English?

Do you consider yourself to be English?

What does being English mean?

Or, come to that what does being British mean?

I was born on a street named ‘Park Road’. Does that make me a Park Roadian?

I ask all these questions because in my experience very few really question who they are or what labels mean.

There really is no such thing as the ‘English’. If you disagree please tell me what being English is! You will fail.

If you claim to be 'English' I suggest you have your DNA checked. The likelihood is that it will indicate that your antecedents are from far and wide, like the rest of us. The population of these islands are drawn from a well stirred international gene cocktail started many, many centuries ago. The only vaguely indigenous are those with ginger hair.

Nationalism, being proud to be an ‘ish’, is a trait of the stupid. It means absolutely fuck all.

And don’t mention that strange notion of being somewhere first. The Native Americans knew that land ownership was a meaningless concept. You can’t own sections of the Earth. All you can do is prevent others from movement.Nationalism is oppression.

Nationalism/patriotism is just fascism wrapped in a flag. It is a creed of the ignorant and evil. Think about it!

Of course you can substitute ‘English’ for ‘British’; it doesn’t really matter as both are equally valueless.

Get real. We are all people. Celebrate difference instead of inventing meaningless categories.

North/South Divide

The North/South divide is essentially an invention of hacks that never venture beyond the M25. Those London centric pontificators of the unreal. This article in the Observer has irritated me no end.

The first point to make is there is no clear divide. North merges into south in many ways over various geographical locations.

Apparently "The new line, devised by Danny Dorling, professor of human geography at the University of Sheffield, is based on a number of more recent socio-economic developments, including rising house prices, increased life expectancy and voting patterns.". Bollocks ! There is no way that it can ever be that clear cut. How does the saying go, "Lies, damn lies and statistics" ?

Academics know that if they present this sort of stuff it will be published, and journalists love to write about and print it. It is effectively mutual masturbation.

I’ve got news for Prof. Dorling and hack Day. There are two other significant points on the compass, and I live in one of them. The East. It ain’t North and it ain’t South. I suspect that those in the West Country get equally pissed off, not to mention inhabitants of the Midlands. I’m sure like their papers, journalists would like life to be black and white, but thankfully it is not.

Thank you and have a nice day.