English and Americanisms

I don’t have a lot of time for nationalists or patriots. They are indeed scoundrels. I’m not even sure I subscribe to the notion of land ownership or territory. Obviously in terms of governance a defined area or jurisdiction is pretty essential but I do think that the majority of people who reside in these islands are far too hung up on national identity. I suppose I consider myself English. I have a great love of the English language (despite my often poor use of it as this blog testifies) and our culture, even though in reality both are so nebulous that they prove near impossible to quantify. But that is the great thing about Englishness it doesn’t really exist. English people and their culture is a dynamic cocktail, an ever changing melting pot of culture and ethnicity. This is not a new phenomena, it’s been like that for centuries, if not millennia. There can never be a pure pedigree English person, it is a genetic impossibility. There is no measurement of Englishness. Over the centuries the land mass known as England has been populated by people from across the world. With them has come language and culture which we’ve absorbed. England’s motto should be ‘adopt, adapt and improve’ and I think that’s what makes this such a good place to live. We are not rigid; we are open to new ideas. This helps us to prosper both financially and culturally. Being open minded and accommodating has brought us tremendous benefits over the years. I hope we never lose it. In evolutionary terms the key to survival is to constantly widen the gene pool.

I like Americans, I like aspects of their culture and I’ve very much enjoyed the small amount of the USA that I’ve seen. I don’t much care for their foreign policy, their cultural imperialism, their gun-control laws, the way they treat many of their citizens at the lower end of the economic scale and the fact that they still have the death penalty is totally despicable. I work for an American owned company, who as capitalist organisations go is an okay employer. My American colleagues tend to be very nice people if not always worldly-wise, and so very few of them seem to have passports. Many have trouble accepting that we (in the UK) don’t celebrate Thanksgiving or have the 4th of July off. I know it’s wrong to make generalisations but much of the time Americans are very culturally insular. Why is it that when books, films, records etc travel from the UK to the USA deference to their version of English needs to be observed but when the traffic is in the other direction it doesn’t matter a jot. It is presumed that American-English will do. I think that it is the pure arrogance of it that irritates me. The attitude that their ways are right and everybody else’s ways are wrong. This BBC News article about how Americanisms (is that an Americanism?) irritate many of us was quite interesting. With plenty I could identify with. I’m sure there are very many reasons why Americanisms irritate so many of us. Some of it will be misguided nationalism, some of it will be racist, and some will believe that anything other than the fictitious ‘Queens English’ is a travesty, but as far as I’m concerned it’s about reducing our capacity to communicate. I have already acknowledged that English is forever evolving. I like the fact that we have regional language differences as well as the international differences (which include African, Antipodean, Canadian and US - apologies for those I’ve missed out). It makes for interesting listening and reading when we have all these variations. What really concerns me is that instead of absorbing new words from various sources we just adopt American-English wholesale, so that we end up with one homogenised language. A language based on inaccuracies. After all American-English does have the tendency to be rather Neanderthal, relying as it does on the lowest common denominator approach. If it works for them that’s fine, but I think it’s very lazy when the English adopt these neo-words and phrases. My fear is that if the change from English to American carries on exponentially we will end up just grunting at each other in a return to our prehistoric past. Some people have commented on Twitter in a rather pompous fashion that they think it’s rude of us to be irritated by Americanisms. Others just don’t understand what the fuss is about and that we should just embrace their language like ‘loving Big Brother’. I fear these sorts of people are quite shallow and really haven’t thought things through. Having vented my spleen I do accept that inevitably we will end up all speaking American-English but that’s no reason to give in quietly. The longer we can retain at least a modicum of sophistication in our language the more enjoyable life will be.

Going back to the BBC article, two Americanisms that really irritate are ‘can I get’ and ‘9/11’. This is because their technical inaccuracies offend my pedantry. I’ve ranted about ‘can I get’ before so I won’t repeat myself. I feel a rant coming on about ‘9/11’ so watch this space.

Language again

In my previous post about multiculturalism I indicated that I didn’t really accept that there was such a thing as Britishness. But if I was forced to name one thing that defines us it would be our language. Unfortunately this point would just be lost on the ‘little Englander’ types that complain about their perceived loss of a British identity. Our language is the one thing that truly identifies us as a nation.

The great thing about English is that it is diverse and dynamic. As it evolves it absorbs from those that use it. There are regional differences, but those differences should be enjoyed and celebrated, they are what make our language rich and interesting. It is one thing to have a dynamic language that is influenced by its users; it’s a totally different kettle of fish to have your language replaced by cultural imperialism. Unfortunately the latter seems to be taking place, and it’s happening with the tacit acceptance of its ‘owners’. Laziness will hasten the extinction of the English language.

Contrary to popular belief, particularly amongst themselves, Americans do not speak English. They speak American. Through cultural bullying, American has taken hold in these islands like a cancerous growth. English is the red squirrel of the language world. Being the grumpy old sod that I am, I am easy irritated by those simpletons that have become brainwashed by the American culture machine. Thankfully I’m not a violent man, but if I was I would continually want to punch people that used Americanisms. You know what sort of morons they are. They are the sort that pronounce schedule as sked-jewel rather than shed-yule. The sort that write’#’ (hash) instead of ‘Nº’. And, the sort that will use ‘asshole’, ‘butt’ and ‘can I get’ instead of ‘arsehole’, ‘arse (or bum)’ and ‘please could I have’. I’m sure that you know the sort of low-life I’m talking about. If David Cameron is so fucking concerned about multiculturalism perhaps his government should pass a law requiring all American films and television programmes (note the spelling) to be screened in this country with English subtitles or dubbed into English. Unlikely to happen of course, given that we are the lap-dogs of the USA.

Does it matter?

In the great scheme of things I don’t suppose it really does. Life goes on. Perhaps we should just learn to love Big Brother. That’s Big Brother as an Orwellian reference rather than a suggestion to admire rubbishy televisual dross.

Unfortunately my dislike of American cultural fascism gets the better of me from time to time and I tease or taunt the odd American speaker on the interweb. I shouldn’t do it I know. It’s a fact I’m not proud of. It’s not big and it’s not clever, but sometimes it can be a lot of fun.

Multicultural Britain

When you are shit on from a great height people tend to do one of three things. Either they form a circle of wagons with their fellow travelling companions and resist and possibly fight back, or as an individual they lash out, or they cow tow to those that shit.

I firmly believe that Oscar Wilde was right when he said that “patriotism was the last refuge of the scoundrel”. I have deep suspicions of anyone who is nationalistic, patriotic or even proud of their country. National identity is yet another tool for the ruling elite to oppress the rest of us with.

What the fuck is “being British” about anyway?

It doesn’t matter whether you are talking about the “Big Society” or “Multicultural Britain” it’s all meaningless unless the rules are changed. A cohesive society can only be achieved if everybody is treated the same and if everybody has the same life chances. A few do-gooders doing charity work are not going to change the fundamental inequalities that exist in the UK today. Until this happens communities will remain cellular and inward looking. People are not going to leave the relative safety of their own little worlds and integrate if there is no incentive to do so. It doesn’t matter if you are a banker living on caviar and champagne in palatial splendour, or if you are unemployed and living in cold and mouldy social housing, you are going to stay in your own little world if society dictates it to be so. The odds against social mobility are so heavily stacked that any pretence at a flat and opportunity ridden Britain are just laughable.

There is no definition of Britishness. The nearest thing to it would be some kind of lowest common denominator fudge that would suit no one. I’m a white middle-aged upper working-class man who is interested in politics and the arts. I hate sport with a passion. The stereotypical world of the Sun-reading, X-Factor, Eastenders, football, bingo, burger munching and lager-swilling brigade is a totally alien culture to me. As is the bigoted world of the Daily Mail-reading, Big Question viewing, Jeremy Vine listening, golf club knobbing, Chicken Tikka Masala scoffing, Shiraz necking, Beemer polishing lightweight. We don’t have multiculturalism amongst the indigenous white people of Britain so how the hell can we expect others to integrate?

Starting with a blank sheet of paper and given the task of defining qualifications for being British my number one rule would be ‘celebrate our nations diversity’.