Potentially we are all refugees

Imagine if we let the thick of neck, knuckle dragging, beer bellied, spotty, low IQ, shouty white blokes take over. Think about that. Think it couldn’t happen? Think again. The Brexit vote happened because filthy rich white blokes exploited the intellectually challenged members of society. Those simple souls who can only think in black and white. The filthy rich could take back even more control! Think!

If that were ever to happen what would you do?

Under fascism no one is safe. Not even the fascists. Fascism rules through fear. Fear breeds distrust. Distrust creates purges. People, yes real human beings, are vapourised. A knock on the door in the dead of night, a scuffle, and you are spirited away. Your name erased from history. Think!

Imagine this happening, then imagine having to get out of your house as quickly as possible and fleeing in fear of your life. What would you take with you? What of your most prized possessions would you love into your single solitary suitcase? This is the dilemma that hundreds of thousands have to face each year. Your life in a suitcase.Think!

What would I take? I really couldn't say. A change or two of clothes I guess. But what else? Important financial records/papers perhaps, a small momento or two, relevant medication, travel kettle, iPod and perhaps a travel radio might fit in two. I guess it would also be useful to take small things of high monetary value like jewellery. Things that could be sold to raise some cash. Have I forgotten anything? Probably. Think!

What would you pack in a solitary suitcase? Could you cope with that? You'd have to. It would be cope or die. Think about that!

Being a refugee as far as I can see is no fun. You don't upsticks just because you fancy a change of scenery. Refugees are people. People fleeing persecution. Put yourself in their shoes; you've escaped persecution or death, wouldn't you hope to be welcomed when you reach a safe haven? What if there were no safe havens? Where would you go if you needed to?

We all have a responsibility to help refugees.

Think!

Jobcentre plus

I’ve just completed four weeks of unemployment. It continues to be very emotional. But I do think that I’m starting to get the hang of it.

Today I went to a jobs fair. I went mainly on the suggestion of the nice man at the job centre. I can’t knock what the jobs fair was about because if it helps just one person find employment then I think that it could be measured as a success. Many of the stalls were promoting jobs or volunteering in the care/service sector. Sadly there was nothing to help the recently redundant Materials Manager from the engineering sector. Although, I was tempted to apply for a job with M&S (nice uniforms) who seemed to be recruiting (avoids cheap joke about working in ladies underwear). Failing that there’s always Morrison’s who were also there looking for staff.

I had big plans for when I was made redundant but so far none of them have come to fruition. Things seem to take longer to happen than I’d hoped and also I think I was born with a yellow streak down my back as I too often plump for playing it safe. I have ambitions but seem powerless or lacking in the courage to take the risks that could enable me to prosper. Imagine someone standing on the edge of a high diving board over a swimming pool. I’m the one that turns around and goes back down the steps. Perhaps one day I will have the courage to jump.

I feel I must speak out in praise of the Jobcentre Plus staff. It can’t be easy working under the yoke of the sadistic Tory government with the culture of fear that they have engendered. The Tory bastards have created that climate of fear to oppress hard working government employees. But despite all that all the staff at my local Jobcentre in Norwich have been friendly, polite and as helpful as they are able to be. I kind of think that there is only one thing worse, in the jobs market, than being unemployed, and that’s working at Jobcentre Plus. So under the circumstances they do a good job and are, in my experience, nice people.

The morons who subscribe to and repeat Tory propaganda ad nauseam would do well to get from behind their Daily Mails and experience the full effects of the Conservative parties own peculiar brand of fascism first hand as I have done.

100% Unemployment

Day two of unemployment. Going well so far. Yesterday I went out for a celebratory breakfast. The full English. I considered it a rite of passage. I also realised that if I am to survive this ordeal I need some structure to my day. So last night I set the alarm. First task of the day is a brisk walk for an hour. I need to keep up with my exercise levels. Don’t want to turn into a slob. Then I’ve spent the day searching for jobs. Trying to get to grips with the DirectGov website which is actually a pile of piss and very user unfriendly. A bit like the ConDem government so no surprises there then!

Tomorrow I have my initial ‘Job Seeker’s’ interview. Wish me luck. I think I may need it and a nosegay apparently.

Banking for the future

Today I made an investment in my future; a deposit at a nearby clothing bank. Pretty soon someone in Eastern Europe or the Third World could possibly be wearing my ex-work corporate clothing.

I finished work yesterday although my official leaving day is today. As of now, and for the first time in my working life of 42 years, I am redundant; unemployed; no longer required; on the scrapheap!

As I didn’t have to work today my first task was to ceremonially remove my work clothes from my life; hence the contribution to the clothing bank.

I have no idea what might lie in store for me work wise. Given that there aren’t enough jobs to go round and given my age it’s going to be very difficult to get any kind of employment I suspect. I’d be more than happy to do a series of temporary jobs or contract work if I can get something as I just really need enough to pay the bills and not much more. If at least the hint of an opportunity doesn’t present itself in the next week or two I have decided to take myself off to an industrial city and absorb myself in my art and attempt to get any job, even a minimum wage one, just to get by. I need to move forward.

The darkest hour is just before dawn

You can’t help but absorb some of the bad vibes from around yourself, unless you are a person of iron will. I am not a person of iron will.

I have a month left to work for my current employer. On the whole I’m pleased that I’m being made redundant. Yes it means that I’m losing my income and I know not when and if I’ll be able to get another job but I loathe my job with a passion. It’s a hateful soul-destroying job that apart from a wage in no way fulfils me; so a result. Unfortunately many of my co-workers (also losing their livelihoods) are not quite as philosophical and sanguine about it. Their stress and general unhappiness manifests itself in many different forms and it rubs off. As a result I soak up some of their pain, like blotting paper.

The whole of the branch of the company I work for is being closed down, eventually. Our redundancies are staggered. Different people going at different times depending on the job that they do. I am reminded of pictures from World War One of blinded soldiers from the front shuffling along in single file one after the other a hand on the one in front and a sighted person leading the way. Hardly the same thing I know and I have no intention of playing down the horrors of war but the whole process does upset people profoundly.

We are in a queue waiting to be pushed off the edge. It’s the waiting that is the most upsetting. People want to move on.

N.E.X.T.

 

New Year my arse!

The New Years Eve celebrations are as meaningless as the Christmas ones the week before. It’s all very arbitrary. People make resolutions that they rarely keep. Companies like Weight Watchers and Fitness First (other weight-loss and gymnasium companies are available) scoop up lashings of money from well intentioned punters who really haven’t thought things through. People sign up and part with their hard-earned cash expecting to lose weight and get fit by proxy; it ain't that simple. It turns out to be as much of a sham as the celebrations themselves.

So much of modern life is built on smoke and mirrors. Often just for the benefit of our masters. Distractions for the masses allow them to continue to rule and exploit.

And don’t criticise me for being an old stick in the mud and defend something that you feel to be traditional, because tradition is a very moveable feast. Until 1751 the New Year started on 25th March. Cope with that one traditional knob heads!

No longer playing it safe

It’s possible that I’ve made a very big mistake. I think I may have come very close to getting a new job. A job with more money doing what I know best. Doing what I can sort of do with my eyes closed. I have decided against it!

Am I mental?
Possibly!

I’ve done purchasing type jobs for over thirty years and quite frankly I’ve had enough. I think I’d rather stack shelves in a supermarket than carry on in supply chain solutions. Virtually all my life I’ve played it safe. Safe is no longer an option. Not enough of us take the risky option I fear. Sometimes we have to take risks. Sometimes it’s the only way to get what we want!

When I’m finally made redundant (sometime early in the New Year) I’m going to head north. Well north-ish. I’m no longer a young man so going west is out of the question.

I’m heading north in search of gritty creativity.

Life begins at 58!

Positive mental attitude

I’m not normally known for being a rampant optimist and the recent ‘kickings’ have seen me deep in despair at times. But I’ve come through them and I’m now feeling so positive.

I won’t go into detail now but this week a couple of good things have happened that have made me realise that actually I’m pretty bloody good at much of what I do. It’s filled me with a new found confidence, a confidence to face the future head on. I’m on the up. I’m moving forward. I refuse to stay down!

The previous post was actually written about a week ago. It's all true, I am like that. I suffer from the cringe and no doubt always will. It's managing it that is the key. As you can see I’ve travelled a long way in a week. It pays to hang on in there.

Learning to cringe again

I lack personal confidence and have low self-esteem. If I ever reveal this to people who don’t know me that well they find it hard to believe. I’m also a very shy person. Plus I have the added handicap of blushing profusely and often for no reason. Occasionally I will blush for other people; in other words when others are in a situation that calls for blushing and they fail to do so I will blush for them. I’m a proxy blusher. I also worry a lot. I could worry for England. Olympic gold standard me.

People I meet don’t always recognise this picture of me, but then all they see is the exterior. I am like the proverbial duck. On the face of it I’m the serene gliding on the water. They never notice the feet below furiously paddling to keep going.

I’ve never been good with rejection, even though I’ve had my fair share of it. And the past few weeks have been quite a shock to the system. My confidence has been dented big-time. Strangely my reaction to rejection or tragedy is often different to many people. I give the appearance of reacting in an opposite way to being upset. I appear on the surface to be happy or devil-may-care but it’s a defence mechanism. I have been known to laugh at bad news. Its not that I find it funny, I just can’t help myself. I also have a tendency to say stuff that I don’t always mean. Verbiage is broadcast before brain is engaged. I then regret what I’ve said and want to crawl away and hide under a stone. Enter ‘the cringe’. Throughout my life I’ve said some spectacular foot in mouth things.

I once heard Desmond Morris say that people who blush are survivors. Blushing is a survival technique dating back to the very beginnings of our evolution. I buy that. It makes sense to me. I’ve survived pretty well so far.

So my strategy is to surround myself with a hard shell to protect this soft nut inside. My fear is that if I weaken I go under; we’ll call it ‘stiff upper lip’ syndrome.

I am the walnut, goo goo goo joob



please note: It's important to read the next post as well

The fog is lifting

For the first time since I learned that I was being made redundant I feel that I’m in a better place emotionally. My outlook is starting to be a bit more positive. This is quite unusual for me.

I suppose I’m more fortunate than many in that I don’t feel that I have to find a job at a certain level. Within reason any job (if I can find one) will do. I now see redundancy as potential freedom. All my life I have harboured a desire to create; to paint, to draw, to write; all my life I’ve allowed life to get in the way and stop me from immersing myself in my art. Now there will be nothing to stop me. Yes I will need to find some kind of employment but that’ll be all I’ll need, some kind of employment.

The other thing is that I won’t be tied down necessarily to where I live. Looking for inspiration I could well go off and live elsewhere. How liberating is that?

I’m not pretending that it’s all going to be a bed of roses. I have no doubt that I won’t get everything I want. There will be things I’ll need to do without but I’m going to set myself free.

I think the most exciting thing is that I’ve no idea where my life is going to go. All I know is that it’s going to change. I need to harness that change and use it as a catalyst for a more interesting life. I will have doubts, and I will have panics but I can see that my life could well be enriched by it.

As one door closes, another one opens.

Tip toe

I hope upon hope that once I am made redundant I can find other employment. I fear for the future. I can’t see that, at my age, I’ll be able to earn what I have been earning. I will probably have to take a much lower paid job. But regardless of any future salary I am determined to live my life in a simple and frugal way. I very much want to reduce my material footprint.

All the fun of the fair

Life is like being on a rollercoaster at the moment; a mixture of a few highs and a great many dramatic lows. Work is so painful now as I know I’m going to be without a job but don’t actually know at the moment when I’ll leave. I am feeling terribly misunderstood.

Emotionally I am more often than not at low ebb. I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything for long.

On the occasions I’m feeling up or optimistic it rarely lasts as something happens or someone does something to put the dampener on life.

I so want to move forward.

Scrapheap challenge

When we were told at the beginning of last week that the branch of the company I work for was closing it really didn’t come as any surprise to any of us. It had sort of been on the cards for quite a while. In fact for me it came as a relief. When you have something like that hanging over you it’s often good to have the certain imminent truth rather than a speculative possibility. Others did not take it in quite such a sanguine way.

The next day and reality set in. the emotions of it and of life brought me down to earth with a bump. I went into a deep decline. Life seemed pointless; nobody loved me, everybody hated me, so to speak. I was preparing myself to go down the garden to eat worms. I’m not good with rejection, especially when I feel that rejection is unjustified. On the scrap heap at 58!

Its 41 years since I left school and not once have I been registered unemployed. There was a brief period in my earlier days when I had three weeks off when I was between jobs but apart from that I’ve been a wage slave all of the time.

I’m scared. I’m scared for my future and I’m sad for my colleagues that are also losing their jobs, some of whom I know will suffer quite badly financially. But I’m coming to terms with it. I now see it as an opportunity, albeit not necessarily an easy opportunity. I’m hoping it will afford me the opportunity to be more creative and perhaps find employment in a different sphere, and perhaps even in a different location. I’ve never overly been fearful of change and it could well make life much more interesting. I’ve come to realise that material wealth is not the be all and end all of life. There is more to life than trinkets.

I’m coming to terms with the soon to be ‘bereft of employment’ situation. My future path is a stony one, but compared with many persecuted souls it will hopefully be no great hardship either. I’ll keep you posted.

A new decade

#newdecade 
2011 hails the start of a new decade. Sadly the media won’t be making any fuss about it because most of those working in the media are a bunch of morons incapable of logical thought. Your average person in the street won’t realise either because most people’s thoughts are conditioned by the media. This time last year people were duped into thinking that a new decade started with 2010 but of course those of us that are at least mildly intelligent know this not to be the case.

Does it really matter?

Compared to the scale of human suffering in the world, no it doesn’t really matter, but the point I’m trying to make is that if people are easily fooled into believing something illogical they will believe other nonsense, like black is white, there is a god and that the Con-Dem cuts are necessary and not just driven by political dogma.

Bastards!

”Infamy, infamy they’ve all got it in for me!”

Spammers, hackers and people that steal bandwidth are evil bastards who for some reason don’t like me. As a result of their skulduggery I have effectively lost my previous RealAleBlog and use of my realalenet domain has been suspended.

I must bear some of the responsibility as I was using old software that should have been updated. But I liked it. It was easy to customise and I took the approach that if it wasn’t broken why fix it. Now I’ve decided to “love Big Brother” and switch to Blogger, “warts and all”. If I can extract the posts from the old database then I will transfer them over to this new location. I suspect though that the comments on posts will be lost. Because of this I’ve decided to do the same with this blog.

I’m quite sanguine about it all as at the end of the day it is only ephemera. Shit happens, but hey nobody has died, so I shall just carry on here. Normal service will resume as soon as possible.