Horror-scope

“What is your star sign?” someone will ask.

Actually I’m a Gemini.

What does that mean?

It means absolutely fuck all!

I don’t believe in time. That’ll have umpteen academics ripping up Einstein, Hawking et al. When I say that what I mean is that I believe that there is only the present. The past happened, it is literally history. The future is yet to happen and is so far undetermined. The idea that the future is somehow mapped out is ludicrous.

Astrology is for the gullible. Like religion it is based purely on superstition and is yet another way to try and control people. The idea that you can tell someone’s future from their date of birth is laughable. And people fall for it. The future does not exist. This desire to know the future is connected to the human desire to give meaning to their lives; giving it the structure, order and simplicity that most people crave. I’m sorry but I can’t buy into that.

Of course proponents of astrology will say that the horoscopes in newspapers are ‘just a bit of fun’ and that they are a generalisation of what astrology is really about. I accept that, but in turn it doesn’t make ‘proper’ astrology any more valid. They will say that an astrological reading needs to be based on a person’s date of birth, including the year, and other criteria. Cobblers I say. What about environmental factors, life chances and personal decisions? Life is serendipitous. Where the planets and stars were positioned when you were born or where they are now is highly unlikely to affect your life to much of a degree above gravitational forces. Do those born on the same day live similar lives and have similar character traits? I doubt it. And if they do it isn’t going to be anything to do with their star sign. Especially if you take into account the mathematics of probability.

My birthday is on 1st June. I was at school with twins also born on the same day and in the same year as me. All three of us were different. And the two brothers were very different indeed. One was studious, focused, musical, very bright and with mousey-coloured hair. The other struggled academically, was over-enthusiastic about most things but achieved little at school, was emotional, couldn’t play a musical instrument to save his life and had black hair. Whilst I was a day-dreaming layabout arty type that was quite capable but rarely met expectations. I kind of think that we should have been so similar that you could have hardly been able to tell us apart, don’t you?

Astrology my arse.

It’s all mumbo-jumbo!