Sunday 18 September 2016

I laugh in the face of tragedy

It's an embarrassing thing to do. But throughout my life, although thankfully not on every occasion, I have sometimes managed to laugh at really bad news. I don't know when it's going to happen and I have no control over it. It just happens. Likewise I will also say inappropriate things on odd occasions. Words will come out of my mouth that either I wouldn't dream of saying ever or would never dream of saying in the particular situation that I find myself in at that time. Often this sort of thing happens at social gatherings. I think because I'm never comfortable in largish social groups its some kind of reaction to the situation in which I find myself. It's probably a nerves thing. The trouble is I will say something that is out of place, realise my error, and then rather than just shut up completely I will then in some vain way attempt to explain my faux pas by saying further ridiculous stuff. Language is my downfall.

Now I'm sure I'm not alone in this. There's probably a name for it. There's a name for all conditions these days it would seem. In the cold light of day one can sort of understand it. Well I can. Unfortunately my affliction doesn't stop there. In these days of the interweb and social media I find myself doing similar online. It happens mostly in the situation when you are either live chatting or very nearly live chatting. I will type something inappropriate or out of character and will have pressed the send button before I have realised what I have done. Then I panic! I forget the old adage when you're in a hole stop digging and just carry on making matters worse. After that I retreat, licking my wounds and wondering how it happened. Eventually of course I get over myself and the pain starts to subside and I will forget about it until the next time. Brains are funny old things.

Hopefully people that know me realise that I try very hard to be kind, considerate and quite shy. Perhaps they have never even noticed this foible or just put it down to strange idiosyncrasy. Perhaps it's just me that notices. I know not.