Oranges and lemons

I've uploaded a new t-shirt design.

Be the first on your street to wear this t-shirt. Buy one today!

Paul models a little white number...

...or is it Mr Gumby?
It's probably very vain of me but i love seeing images i've created in print and today it was extra thrilling because i took delivery of this t-shirt with one of my designs on. I'm very pleased indeed. So much so that i will be uploading more designs for printing.

If you would like to order one for yourself you can find details here.

Banking for the future

Today I made an investment in my future; a deposit at a nearby clothing bank. Pretty soon someone in Eastern Europe or the Third World could possibly be wearing my ex-work corporate clothing.

I finished work yesterday although my official leaving day is today. As of now, and for the first time in my working life of 42 years, I am redundant; unemployed; no longer required; on the scrapheap!

As I didn’t have to work today my first task was to ceremonially remove my work clothes from my life; hence the contribution to the clothing bank.

I have no idea what might lie in store for me work wise. Given that there aren’t enough jobs to go round and given my age it’s going to be very difficult to get any kind of employment I suspect. I’d be more than happy to do a series of temporary jobs or contract work if I can get something as I just really need enough to pay the bills and not much more. If at least the hint of an opportunity doesn’t present itself in the next week or two I have decided to take myself off to an industrial city and absorb myself in my art and attempt to get any job, even a minimum wage one, just to get by. I need to move forward.

Jumpers no longer for goalposts

#jumperrecommendations
Great news!

Along the lines of ‘let them eat cake’ Cameron and his evil mob have decreed that in face of exorbitant fuel price rises the ‘poor and needy’ should wear jumpers to keep warm. So as a public service I thought I’d scour the jolly old interweb for what the Tories might expect us plebs to wear.
Enjoy:

Despite affecting a confident pose Roger still felt like a

complete dick in his Daily Mail ‘readers offer’ cardy

 

 

Betty still couldn’t quite believe that both Wilson and

Keppel were avid fans of Throbbing Gristle

 

 

Slightly confused Ronald had decided that

what would really keep him warm on his

zero hours contract would be a gonad cosy

 

 

Malcolm had decided that precautionary measures

were necessary when wearing his new cardigan to bingo

 

 

Rupert was unstinting in his efforts to try and blend in with the proletariat

 

 

Marjorie had concluded that if the poor refused to

wear jumpers that a sound thrashing would be in order

Half socks, an obstacle to world peace

I am convinced that the half sock or trainer sock is a significant obstacle to world peace. That and narrow minded oppressive violent ideologies. Oh and injustice.

Iconography

Since the days of cave dwellers, icons have been an important part of communicating with each other. In these days of computers, smartphones and touchscreens icons are a big part of the processing command chain. Icons like pictures are capable of representing many words. They allow the receiver to interpret amounts of information very quickly. Much quicker than a wordy equivalent. But then I’m telling you what, as a computer user, you already know. Icons enable you to evaluate and take action fast.

Just before Christmas we had a few days away in Chichester. When we have the odd night or two away we tend to stop at Premier Inns. In terms of chain hotels we find them very acceptable. They're clean, efficient and offer value for money. This trip in particular certainly offered all those things as we managed to book their £29 per night deal. Didn't think that was possible. Premier make a big play of brands. They use well known brand leaders or top brands. It occurred to me that this is probably quite a hard trick to pull off. In a four star (or plus) hotel this sort of in yer face branding would be seen as tacky and tasteless. But for Premier it is a great selling point. In the bathroom the shower gel is Imperial Leather and the hand wash is Carex. At the breakfast table it’s Costa, Heinz, Kellogg’s etc. Brands with a track record convey a perceived quality. They are icons. Icons that say these products are of a known quality.

When it comes to shopping I rarely buy branded products favouring shops-own brand. But then I suppose shops are a brand, as are hotels. Marketing people really do run things.

Another icon of the modern age is the designer label. Whilst a brand normally suggests a certain quality, depending on reputation, the designer label conveys much more as it speaks volume about the consumer of that label. It says I’m a complete twat with more money than sense. I have a deep distrust of anyone who buys a designer labelled product purely because it has a designer label. The same applies to certain brands as well. Many people seem to buy certain brands just because they are fashionable, the thing to have. They have the mentality of sheep. On the rare occasion that I got out shopping for clothing I try my hardest to avoid buying anything with a visible brand on it. I don’t always succeed but I do manage to keep it to a minimum. Some of my coats are the exception to the rule.

Last February we had a fantastic holiday in Iceland. The island not the supermarket chain that is. So this time last year I went looking for a decent, warm, water resistant coat. I almost bought one made by The North Face. I was prepared to look a twat for the sake of comfort. But what finally dissuaded me from making what was a very expensive purchase was the zip (zed-eye-pee). Yes the zip. You pay above the odds for a man’s coat and they can’t even be bothered to get the zip right. It would appear that all coats made by/for The North Face zip up on the girls side! Now I’m quite at ease with my sexuality and being in touch with my feminine side that I wouldn’t worry about that sort of thing per se. That’s not really the issue. If they are so fucking arrogant that they can’t be arsed to accommodate the British (possibly European???) market then why the hell should I be bothered to lash out on something that is going to cost me that deep in the purse? Besides I’ve spend fifty odd years buttoning and zipping up coats etc. the ‘man’s way’ why should I change for some lazy, arrogant, capitalists? I ended up buying a Berghaus ski jacket instead. Admittedly it is branded. But the icons of Berghaus branding are relatively subtle and I’ve never been disappointed with their products in the past. It proved to be a very good buy, especially as it was cheaper than what I was proposing to buy from The North Face.

The only other fashionable brand that I have spent money on in the last couple of years is Apple. I bought an iPod Classic. And the only reason I bought that was because there just wasn’t anything else that will hold that much music. I have a very large record collection. I have no intention of buying anything else with the Apple brand if I can help it. Especially as Samsung stuff, in my opinion, seems far superior.

Don’t be fooled by the brand name myths and the brand name hype. Owning certain brand named products doesn’t make you a better person. It doesn’t make you attractive to others, unless they are equally as shallow of course. Don’t sell your soul to devil of consumerist bling. Be more sensible shoe and less plimsoll. The golden idol is a false idol. If you worship iconography then there is probably no hope for you.

Can clothing really be offensive?

Why should it matter what someone wears?

I suppose it matters for a number of reasons. I’m not saying that it’s good or bad but it matters because clothes have become badges. Clothes invariably speak volumes about the person wearing them. Like it or not they are a statement about the type of person we are.

Can clothing really be offensive?

I don’t have a problem with the human body. I felt sorry for that poor chap who attempted to hike from Lands End to John O’Groats naked and kept being arrested. If people want to walk around naked or in various states of undress they should be allowed; subject of course to necessary public hygiene measures. The human body, or exposed parts of it are only offensive if you let them offend you. By the same token if people wish to cover up then there is nothing wrong with that. Offense based on aesthetics is a baseless and shallow reaction. Clothing per se, by its very inert nature, fails to be offensive. What tends to cause offense is the meaning that people attach to clothing. Usually it is a political or religious in meaning. I suppose when clothing manifests itself as the representation of an ideology then it ceases to be clothing and becomes a uniform. Then it is what the uniform represents that is or is not offensive, depending on your point of view. If people wish to dress in a peculiar or idiosyncratic fashion, or be swayed by some magic man with a beard then so be it. The only time it become unacceptable is if it’s used as a means to oppress. But again that has little to do with the clothing as such. I do not believe that the law should be used to proscribe clothing, and the countries that have gone down this road are misguided. Equally people and organisations should be allowed to choose not to ‘do business’ with individuals that refuse to show their face. I think it is fair to say that face to face transactions should be face to face.

Essentially what I’m saying is let’s just relax about what people wear; after all there are much more important concerns to focus on.

Socks and drugs and rock and roll

Well, actually, just socks.

     

Why is it that once socks are washed that one half of the pair comes out of the machine inside out whilst the other is the right way around?

     

There is clearly some powerful force, or perhaps a sock-fairy that makes sure that this universal law is adhered to.

Fashion statement

It was warm as I walked to the station this morning. Possibly one of the warmest we’ve had this year. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and a youth was dawdling in front of me. The afore mentioned spotty Herbert was wear a woolly hat, jeans that were falling down and shoes with the laces undone. Not a good look in anyone’s book me thinks. Why youngsters want to walk around with the waist of their jeans half way down their arse is incomprehensible. It shows off their poor taste in knickers (I suspect that they are rarely Marks & Sparks), and the leg bottoms of their jeans drag on the ground, consequently fraying the edges.

Haven’t the young heard of braces?

There is no way that this look can be comfortable, but of course when has fashion ever been comfortable?

On the fashion statement of life I’m well in the red. I’m just glad that I’m a grumpy old git!