Why women are better than men!

One of the many tools that the few use to control the many is to invent and reinforce the artificial attributes of gender roles and stereotypes that riddle societies throughout the world. Conditioning starts from the day we are born. They are the foundation on which divide and rule is built. It's how rich men in suits control us. The patriarchy is the only true enemy of the people, and the biggest obstacle to equality.

I have a great deal of sympathy with the feminist cause. I try to empathise as best I can. I say as best as I can because I don't know what it's like to be a woman. I have in a small way experienced discrimination in my life and it is terribly draining, demotivating and not easy to rebel against. I believe that as humans we are all equal regardless of gender, sexual orientation physical or mental ability etc etc. I find all forms of discrimination abhorrent. As a consequence I struggle with so called positive discrimination. I recognise that it's a possible means to an end but I still sit uneasy with it. Until the vast majority of people are able to cope with the concept that all humans are equal we will never truly make progress.

Whilst men might control the world it is only a few rich ones that hold the power, the rest of us are in need of emancipation. Yes men need emancipation. We need saving from ourselves as well as from our masters. If men can grasp that equality benefits everyone we will make a start on the road to addressing the problem. Society's concept of masculinity needs to be challenged and changed at every opportunity.

• "In 2015 there were 6,639 suicides in the UK and Republic of Ireland.
• 6,188 suicides were registered in the UK and 451 in the Republic of Ireland.
• The highest suicide rate in the UK was for men aged 40–44.
• Male rates remain consistently higher than female suicide rates across the UK and Republic of Ireland – most notably 5 times higher in Republic of Ireland and around 3 times in the UK."

Statistics from the Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/about-us/our-research/facts-and-figures-about-suicide

These are scary statistics. Having suffered with mental illness and come close-ish to suicide on a couple of occasions I feel for the pain that people go through. Why do we allow this to go on? Why do we allow modern life to put us under such pressure, to cause us such stress? It doesn't have to be like this. So much stress could be eradicated if we lived in a caring and compassionate society. One where everybody is valued. The fact that in the UK men are three times more likely to commit suicide than women is not surprising. Men are expected to be rough, tough stiff upper lip types. Men aren't men if they show they have feelings, and shame is wrought upon them if they show weakness by crying. This needs to change. It should be acceptable to air your true feelings. It should be acceptable to ask for help. And help should be there for all that need it. Mental health is one of the biggest issues facing society today. If we can address mental health properly so many other issues will cured at the same time.

We're not going to change society until we challenge perceptions about what it is to be a man; men’s body image/ a certain sort of physique, male aggression, clothing, different kinds of addiction, the cult of masculinity, man as the bread-winner, and acknowledging that things need to change. We need to debunk the myth that physical strength is important and somehow in need of celebrating. Testosterone exuberance needs to be channelled into creative areas that are away from the more competitive aspects of life. Religion, sport and workplace culture are the biggest obstacles to changing men's attitudes. Competition and outdated religious based ideas of the male role in society are what are holding us back. The term 'man up' epitomises everything that is wrong with an overtly male culture.

We need to accept that gender is not binary; it's a spectrum that we all blend into. There are no neat little pigeon holes. People should not be measured or classified by their gender or their sexuality. I've never felt comfortable about being a 'man', doing 'manly things' as prescribed by society. If I want to do what society currently dictates are 'feminine' things then why shouldn't I? I have always considered myself to be mostly heterosexual, perhaps with a bit of bi-curiousness, like a nice frilly lace, around the edges but being heterosexual that doesn't mean I have to behave like some grotesque male chauvinist action man. I mostly find women to be more interesting and attractive than men. Mostly. I make no apologies for finding people attractive. I think it is possible to find people aesthetically pleasing to look at without objectifying them. There is beauty in all life. Like it or not we are all sexual objects, our raison d'être is to procreate, to keep the species going. It's hardwired into our make up as it is with every living thing on the planet. We just need to get over that hang up, whilst not acting inappropriately towards each other. I see nothing wrong with finding people attractive as long as we respect them for the people they are and treat them no differently to those we don't find quite so attractive.

Equality of the sexes is really just about true equality. Equality for all people. One of the biggest barriers to achieving equality is competition. Competition is seen as something healthy. I believe it to be the opposite. It's divisive and destructive. Society would be much improved if cooperation was the dominant trait.

I felt I was getting somewhere with my thoughts on this whole subject when along came this article on The Norwich Radical site: Platonic Polyamory: A 2018 Valentine’s Conclusion: 

"If you know me, you know I always encourage a certain degree of emotional intimacy within both my female and male friendships, and...

...the resolve to foster psychological well-being and bonds over prescribed societal boundaries. Especially now, given the ambiguous socio-political climate."

I'm not sure that I agree with all aspects of what the writer is saying. In fact alarm bells rang because I could see that it could encourage some rather unacceptable behaviour of the 'me too' variety, but as long as its behaviour that all parties involved are comfortable with then I'm all for it.

I often feel quite sad that men of my generation rarely hug other men. Younger men seem to be much more at ease with it. We old gits need to lighten up. I quite like to be tactile but rarely get the opportunity. One of my most favourite things is holding hands. In some parts of the world men hold hands with other men. It's part of their culture. It doesn't signify any sexual activity, just friendship. In fact why shouldn't men and women in whatever combination hold hands when they are out together regardless of any relationship? And yes I do believe that friendships can exist across the genders without the need for sex. I have friendships with women that are just that, platonic friendships. And another thing, why don't straight men socially kiss other straight men? I'm up for it. Come on lads, let's pucker up! And don't get me started on make-up. But seriously we need to work towards being more comfortable with our friendships of all persuasions. It should be acceptable to tell people that you love them in a way that doesn't say 'I Love you' or 'I LOVE YOU'. After all "what's so funny about peace, love and understanding?"

I make no apology for the title of this post. I wanted to attract the attention of both the enlightened and the bigot alike. Some will criticise me for using a provocative or unhelpful title which is a valid point, but I felt I needed to be heard on this subject. It is the only way forward. Equality is not a pick and mix issue. We are either all equal or we are not. We cannot be considered civilised until we are all equal.

I've been trying to write this post for around two years. In that time my ideas have been evolving, they are still quite fluid and subject to change, which is why it might seem a little disjointed, but I got to the point where I thought it needs a public airing. Consider it work in progress. I would welcome any comments/discussion around them. I would also appreciate it if you could share this post as widely as you can. If we are to one day achieve an equal society ideas like these need to be discussed as widely as possible.

n.b. obviously I don't really think that women are better than men and I'm certainly not in favour of some kind of sexual free for all either.

We still have a long way to go

Trees Nº1

I learned recently that a very good friend shares my love of trees, and their odd and interesting shapes. I admitted to often taking photos of them. With our conversation in mind I thought I’d look through my photos and perhaps share a picture or two.

So here are two:

Norwich Pride

A text arrived yesterday asking us if we would like to attend Norwich Pride. Yes we thought. Might be nice to see, and to offer (hopefully not in a patronising way) our support to the LGBT community of Norwich. So we agreed to meet our friends, a gay couple, in Chapplefield Gardens. When we arrived there was a throng of interesting sights and assorted people:

I’m no lover of dogs but I did think this one was terminally cute:



When the allotted time for the procession to start we realised that we were expected to join in. Not a problem for me and my lady but I think we were just a little surprised as we assumed that to take part one had to be lesbian, gay, bi or transsexual. Clearly not. It would seem that whilst as a community they are discriminated against and abused in varying degrees they are welcoming and inclusive. The world could learn a lot from them.

As we passed through the Haymarket there were a small band of bigoted religious funny-mentalists who for some bizarre and inexplicable reason seem to object to the LGBT community. The old geezer brandishing a cross, and with hate and fear in his eyes, was a very sad sight to behold. I feel sorry for people like that, and I’m not sure of the wisdom of some in the procession who goaded this small dishevelled bunch of socially inadequate proselytisers, but then I’ve not suffered too much prejudice in my life so perhaps I’m not qualified to comment.

As we neared the end of the march, the finishing point being the Forum it occurred to me that there are so many minority groups in this country that suffer inequality and injustice to one extent or another that surely they/we could make up some kind of progressive majority. It’s thirsty work marching so on arriving at the Forum we headed straight for Cafe Marzano for a well deserved libation or three. Not very dedicated as we were unable to see or hear the speakers but very sociable. Peter Tatchell was there mingling, and for all we knew he had spoken to the gathering. All in all it was a good afternoon out. It'll be bigger and better next year I suspect.

At the Forum I purchased a copy of a local anarchist magazine Now & Never, which I was disappointed to discover had an editor. Not sure that’s very anarchist! It wasn’t a particularly good read in my opinion, and absolutely no mention of the Anarchist Rule Book.

Londinium

A week before Christmas a friend and I had an away day to The Smoke. It was an arty day. We planned to visit both Tate Britain and Tate Modern. The key exhibition that we went to see was the works of the Pre-Raphaelite artist John Everett Millais. Probably his most famous painting is ‘Bubbles’ a picture of his grandson purchased by and used as an advert for Pears Soap.

A lot of people with a broader than the norm disposition towards art might dismiss his pictures as twee or prissy, but I think that would be doing him a great injustice. It’s worth going to the exhibition for the intricacy of his painting alone. I particularly enjoyed his sketches and pen & ink drawings, which, in my opinion, are equally as absorbing and fascinating as any by Albrecht Durer. Hurry if you want to go and see this exhibition as it is only on until 13th January.

Whilst at Britain we also went into the Turner Prize Retrospective. This I would describe as a ‘bit of a curates egg’. It ranges from the sublime to the ridiculous. Disturbingly my favourite of this exhibition was a large 'tiled effect’ piece by Gilbert and George. Thankfully I found Damien Hirst’s cows in formaldehyde as offensive as I hoped I would.

Gilbert & George.

For those that don’t know, there’s a jolly nice boat service that runs between Tate Britain, Tate Modern and the London Eye. We took the boat between the two Tates. It is, the only way to travel!

Over at Tate Modern the emphasis was on looking around the Louise Bourgeois exhibition. She is a remarkable lady who has produced some wonderful sculptures, (Eat your heart out Tracey Emin) Big spiders, voluptuous amorphous phallic bobbly things and soft sinky fabric sculptures. Bloody good stuff!

What made the visit all the more special was that I’d been given membership to the Tate. This enables me and a guest to enter all the exhibitions for free, access to the member’s lounges and discounts on the boat travel, book shop and restaurants. Fan-bloody-tastic.

In between all the culture had some time to take a few photos as well:

It was a great day out. Must do it again soon.

I suspect I'm Compo

On Friday night I met up with my two oldest friends for a drink and a meal. One of them, my best friend from school, I had not seen for nearly two years, although we had chatted on the telephone during that period. There were lots of things to catch up on, so we all had much to say over our very mediocre meal. I can't remember exactly how it came up, but I think we were talking about concerts, plays, shows etc. that we had seen and were going to see, my best friend from school said, I don't really like comedy". I was quite shocked by this. How can you not like comedy? In our youth we tried to write comedy scripts together. All rejected by the BBC I might add. He was a big fan of The Goons, The Good Life and Woody Allen. What he went on to clarify was that he didn't like comedy nowadays and thus had stopped watching or listening to any of it.

As far as I'm concerned three of the most important things in life are music, ale and comedy. Life without them would be most unpleasant; culturally inert. For the weak willed it might be enough for them to turn to religion. Not my friend though as he's a vicar in the C of E. And despite the fact that he goes to cricket matches, ballet, Katie Melua concerts and drinks lager he's still a great bloke and remains a good friend. I think the friendship between the three of us has survived because we all enjoy taking the piss out of each other, knowing that we can all take it. And whilst we do not all share the same interests, we have enough overlapping ones to make it a viable and sustaining trio. We also share vaguely similar political views.

In our earlier adulthood I often used to suggest that we would end up like Compo, Clegg and Foggy out of Last Of The Summer Wine. We could never agree on who would be who!

Compo, Foggy & Clegg