Art helps, it really does

In 2014 I had a breakdown. I reached the point where I thought my life wasn’t worth living. I was in total despair and came very close, a few hours away from taking my life. It’s still not easy to acknowledge that. That whole period felt like I was on a never ending roller coaster. It was hell!

All my life I’ve been creative. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t drawing, painting or expressing myself in a creative way. I’ve always considered myself to be an artist, even in the lean times when I was either not creating visual art or when I was creating stuff and then destroying it. This of course adds to one’s anxiety. It also doesn’t help that I’ve always been my own worst critic. But in later years I had started to come to terms with my own creative abilities.

A year or so prior to my breakdown I had started to dabble with digital art. Once I got the hang of the software and had developed the mindset you need to be able to create in a moveable layered format I could really see its potential. I began to realise that this was where I wanted to be and had wanted to be all my adult life.

My depressions had always influenced and inspired my art, and although I didn’t always realise it, had afforded me a reasonable amount of contentment when I was in the creating zone. Little did I realise that it was about to play such a pivotal role in my life. I am so grateful for NHS Wellbeing and the charity Mind for the help they gave me in helping with my recovery, along with people close to me and a couple of very nice, caring people on social media. Without them I wouldn’t be here today. But one of the things that I could not have done without, and the one thing that really helped me to make sense of it all, was my art. My art was my life jacket. Through my art I was able to portray my feelings in a visual way, when words often failed me. My art soothed me. My art didn’t judge me. My art helped me come to terms with what had happened. Art is good medicine.

Black II

(my art making sense of my breakdown)

In these strange days of the Covid-19 crisis with its anxiety, self-isolation and lay-offs our mental health is as important an issue as our physical health. Our world has been turned upside down. Cultural activities are normally some of the ways we relax. The way we help to fill our leisure time. But with galleries, theatres, exhibitions, concerts and craft fairs etc now closed we have been denied much of the therapy that is art. So when Dr Janina Ramirez and others started suggesting that we share art on social media under the hashtag #ArtHelps I vowed I would start sharing art (my own but more importantly art by others) as often as I could. I urge you to do the same.

Art helps!

A Positive Direction

Purely Piano

My latest offering of music is a composition based on the piano. Probably one of the most versatile instruments of all. It does what is says on the label; it is purely piano. Music is meant to be felt. If you feel it, it's real. I hope you like it.

There is still black

There are still black hours. Sometimes. But not that often. thankfully. Occasionally. Black hours turn to black days. I lie low riding the pain. It's less over more now. Once. Black inspired creativity. Creativity produced doubt and destruction. Self-doubting back to black. Now. Now I cope. Now I hope. Now I create prolifically. I believe in my creativity. Black still visits. Black will always visit. It lurks. Skulking. Stage right. I wait. It takes its unwelcome curtain call. I exit stage left. Cringing. Crying. Cursing. Every dog has its day. One day black will be no more. For me. For. Forward. Falling on deaf ears. Undulations.

There is still music. Music, art and poetry. But no buttered scones for tea.

Digital art

One thing that a lot of people can't get their head around with digital art is that there is no such thing as what might be thought of as an original. They seemed to be conditioned to think that visual art has to be a solid thing that you can touch. They also tend to think that if you have that digital art printed out then it's somehow not proper, just a copy. Which in reality it is. Just a copy.

It freaks people out that with something digital you can only print it out and that there is no limit on how often this happens. Art can be mass-produced. Fantastic! Obviously those that have a vested interest in perpetuating the notion that art is an investment commodity wouldn't care for. But bollocks to them.

When I first started advertising/exhibiting my digital art I had the idea that I should only offer it as limited edition fine art prints. I now realise I was probably wrong to do so. It goes a bit against the grain of what I believe. So I've decided to honour the limited edition pictures that I'm already committed to but going forward I intend to put no limit on the number of prints of anything new that I produce. I also plan to offer pictures as cheaply as I can. Watch this space.