Sunday 23 January 2011

Man’s worst friend

WARNING: If you allow sentimentality to cloud your judgement to the detriment of rational thought then you will be offended by this blog post. Sometimes pragmatism needs to win out over emotion.
Want to help the environment?

I’m not a pet person. In my opinion it is immoral to own one. Pets exist purely for the gratification of their owners, and for no other reason. Owning a pet is an act of extreme selfishness. To those that claim that they are ‘company’ I say “get a life”. No wonder society is in the state that it is in if we prefer pets to people. Pets are the pointless playthings of the blinkered, selfish, uncaring and stupid. If humans were bred with defects purely for the purposes of entertainment and amusement there would be a public outcry; and rightly so. So why do it with animals?

Given that pets are essentially immoral and pointless’ let’s discuss the most ridiculous and most pointless pet of all; namely the dog. The dog is a shit machine on legs, full stop. It serves no other purpose. They are dirty, smelly, noisy, bite-y and stupid. And, don’t tell me that there is anything clever in fetching a stick, because there isn’t. Big dogs can kill, and do,yet we allow anybody to own them. At the very least they should be subject to very strict controls. They are dangerous.

Sadly, not enough people share my prejudice about pets. But if you can’t grasp the concept that owning a pet is a totally selfish and immoral act then help is at hand, because it turns out that owning a pet is very bad for the environment. It actually could be better to own a 4x4 than a pet. Seems like a good deal to me - dispose of your pet and get a 4x4 – shed loads more fun!

Let’s rid the country of pets!

With climatic change the future potentially is a grim picture; dwindling resources including large-scale food shortages could well be the order of the day. That could well be the time we will have to start eating the pet population. I wonder what roast dog tastes like. Don’t tell me. Chicken!

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